Stupid Things This New Year!

Take this with a grain of salt if you please:

• if you used firecrackers you're stupid
• if it was loud, you're more stupid
• if it was expensive, you're even more stupid
• if it was expensive and loud, you're the most stupid
  
• if you're a kid playing with firecrackers, you're dumb
• if you're a grown man playing with firecrackers, you're dumber
• if you're a grown man playing with firecrackers and feeling macho, you're even dumber
• if you're a grown man letting you're kids play with firecrackers, you're the dumbest scum of the earth
• if you're a drunken grown man playing firecrackers with your kids, or anybody else's kid for that matter, you should be wearing a straight jacket at the mental institution.
  
• if you think firecrackers will chase the demon spirits away, you must be a feng shui advocate and also dumb
• if you used guns, you can't do better than pointing it at yourself
• if your threw coins all around your house, you'll probably earn coins the whole year
• if you left coins by your windows, they probably won't be there when you wake up
  
• if you jumped at 12 midnight, you're probably short
• if you wore red polka dots, i hope there weren't any bulls near you
• if you did not sweep your floor yesterday, may you have a dusty floor all year
• if you played loud rnb lovesongs, sana nagpaputok ka nalang!